How do you know you have achieved greatness?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


So in all my years of online chatting I have realized one major truth.. Almost everyone lies. Be it something as simple as "how come you didn't come on last night? Oh I was out at a bar" when they were really home sleeping.. or something a bit more serious as "Are you married? No, I'm single" when their wife is sitting in the next room. This is actually the one thing I have always hated about the online world, you never know who or what to believe.

So along time ago I decided I wasn't gonna be like that, I wanted to be different, I wanted to be honest. But then a question came to me "How honest is being too honest?"
I, like most, lied. If I seen a chick that wasn't really that attractive, I would try and make her feel better and give her a few compliments. I would try and down play things, like if I got really drunk, I would say "I had a few drinks". That is when it hit me, I was slowly going down the same road as the rest of the morons on the net. I was starting down a long lonely road of being a liar, that's when it all ended.

I, again like most, bounced from one website to another, checking out the different features and what sites were good and which weren't. I met a lot of good people on the way and even more morons.

They say every great actor builds up to his defining role. The role he, or she, will be remembered for. Take Mike Myers for example. If you look at all his work before Austin Powers you can see the character forming before the movie was ever thought of. That's what happened to me. By slowly telling the truth more and more a new persona began to develop, "ASSHOLEinNewJersey".

there is something liberating about being able to tell someone what you really think. You no longer hold any resentment about people, there is no longer any envy it's just you and the truth. Your REAL feelings coming to life, not hidden away like a shameful secret.

Then I stumbled across Ivideochat. This site is more of a cluster fuck or morons then it is an actual videochat site.You have people from almost every country there, and almost every language is represented. So you would think this would be a haven for knowledge about other cultures and people. Think again. It's more like a place for RaTards to butcher the English language.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand English is not everyone's fluent language, but these people take butchering it to a whole new level. Here are a few good examples. I am taking these right from the website.

(ignore) CoukCum: nikkia titts i cvum
(ignore) staford: NIKKIA SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SHOW
(ignore) uyyuyuy: angel you are hotting me a lot
(ignore) Danzer: Angel...I love to hot breasts!!
(ignore) huki: MMMM DIANNA CAN ISEE BETERE U TIIITSS??
(ignore) huki: REALLY ISBETWENN U LEGS BB MMMMMMMMMM
(ignore) MONTEL: kissssssssssssssssssssss lisa miss of the world
(ignore) jesusdf: todh your pussy

As you can see these are not the greatest minds in the world. So it makes it easy to let them know how I really feel. But the real winners are those that do speak English fairly well, but yet lack the mental capacity to actually make any sense. Those that use childish insults and assume that they are brilliant in their attempt for greatness. In their attempt to make a name for themselves, to be known.

2 great examples of this are MrZ4U and MrRandom. I shall break them both down in hopes of better explaining them.

Lets start with Random. This guy is a piece of work, he seems to have the intelligence to hold a decent conversation, but yet when he tries to start a fight, it's almost as if his mind reverts to a child like state. He spews the normal "mom" jokes, or says people have STD's. You know, the normal mindless banter. But yet he clearly misses the mark with any real insults.

I'm not sure why this is exactly. I mean if I gave a person a hammer, a nail and wooden board, they would be able to place the nail into the board, but it's almost like this guy is trying to use the board to put the nail into the hammer. I am sure if he took the time to think out his attempts at insults a bit more he would be fine, but that is like asking the snow not to be cold. Him and MrZ4U have 1 similar attribute. They both tend to make up names of the people they are picking a fight with. For example if there is a person with the name "JoeShmoe" in the chat, they will make up the screen name "J0eShmoe" then ramble on with pointless insults, all in the hopes that one person will truly believe they are the person they are insulting.

MrZ4U however lacks one major ability when it comes to online fighting, intelligence. This guy really does take the cake. First off his grammar is atrocious. I fully admit I make my share of typo's, but this kid goes above and beyond. And his insults are just boring and tired. Here are his top 5 comments:

"You are a Jew"
"You are a nerd"
"You live in your parents basement"
"No one likes you"
"Tell me where you live so I can kill you"

You can only hear this so many times before your brain cells start to commit suicide from the lack of substance in the conversation. I really wouldn't mind as much if he used these comments on just one person, but he says these things to EVERYONE.

When I first seen this kid he was a bit strange. I mean how else can you describe someone that would come come into a chatroom with a female name (Note: He is a male), a female icon and plays a video of female. This normally screams "Closet homosexuality". And it's not like he would do this and then start a fight, he would actually hold conversations (as a female) with other male chatters.

In his off "Female" time, he would come in with various names and record females that might be showing more then they should, or use software that allowed him to rebroadcast a live feed and then draw pictures (Child like I might add) on the screen to represent the person giving head, or words like "Cunt", "Slut", "Bitch" in hopes of making them look foolish. Sad to say it really didn't work. So he took it to the next level, he created a website (Website URL not being posted to protect the innocent) where he would display pictures from the recordings as a way of trying to strike fear into the females he was doing this too.

The first run in I had with him was not pretty. It was hard for me to make him look like a moron, seeing as he was doing a better job of it then I ever could. After about 5 or 6 failed attempts on his part, he gave up. He was ok for a while, kissing my ass, worshiping the ground I walked on, always coming to me for help in belittling someone. He even once asked me to help him make money. He said he knew this "Nerd" that always had money and wanted me to go with him (please keep in mind he lives in Canada and I in the US). He said he would tell the guy to give him the money and if he didn't he needed me to lay a beating on the person. Now living in New Jersey I am no stranger to illegal activity, but come on now. Are you really not man enough to do something like this yourself? You need someone there to hold your hand? I just chalked this up to someone trying to gain the approval of someone they looked up to. Kinda like a little brother does to his big brother.

So as I was saying, things were good for a while and then one night I passed a comment about him recording people. Lets just say it must have been like someones idol saying "you suck at singing". His little heart was crushed. So he became vengeful. He now takes every opportunity to try and start a fight with me or makes the same lame attempts at insulting me.

So here is the cream of the Ivideochat crop. These belligerent morons couldn't hold a candle in a real argument.

Now when I go on, there is at least one person that attempts to start a fight with me or makes up a name similar to mine. I will not say it is Zee or Random all the time, altho there is a good chance of it, but if it's not that means that there are more degenerates out there with the IQ of an 6 year old that have fixed their sights on me. That's how you know you have achieved greatness. Kinda like Mike Tyson in his prime. Everyone wanted a shot at him,. they all wanted to beat him. Why? cause he was the best of the best. That's pretty much how it is in this situation. Everyone wants to be the person to beat ASSHOLE in an online fight. Granted, this isn't something I'm proud of, there is more to me then good looks, boyish charm and quick wit, but the fact that I have decided to be brutally honest with people, this is the sacrifice I must make.

Posted by ASSHOLEinNewJersey at 11:51 AM